Artist Statement

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I was losing myself. So, I began to paint.

 

The act of pressing oil paint with a brush onto a canvas was therapy needed to help repair the psychological damage that I had experienced. That is where my journey began in 2020. I was on a self-tortuous path of destruction and hopelessness since my cancer diagnosis in 2018 and it had taken a toll. The life I was living to stay alive was exhausting. Painting revived me.

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Cathartically I paint to express the heavy emotions that I internalize as a patient of late-stage melanoma. I want the viewer to feel the weight that a cancer patient carries by telling a first-person narrative, which puts the viewer inside of my experiences, albeit an uncomfortable task. My figurative works uses flesh as a vulnerable vessel to tell my story. The flesh is painted with realistic tones of pinks and peach and the shadows carry the reds and purples of my pale skin. The wound on my leg is a repeated motif that represents the real loss of my body but is also symbolic of the loss of my time and the impact that these scars have on my life both physically and emotionally.

 

My paintings explore past decisions made at a younger time when I worshipped the sun and the consequences that I face today due to my ignorance. The uneducated circumstance of my youth and the reckless choices have recently helped me to examine the effects my melanoma diagnosis has had on my personal relationships. Creating this body of self-portraits has opened a dialogue inviting the viewer to better understand the impact that the sun can have on unprotected skin, my unprotected skin. This gained perspective by the viewers of my artwork is an unplanned circumstance of my chosen imagery but has become a welcomed discussion.